Journal.about.YOU&mi
Friday, December 18, 2009
So why did JIALE become so distant suddenly?
Curious?
Well actually..
Many things are jamming up at the junction of my life now.
Church band, school concert band, attachment(coming soon),
hokkien service christmas celebration, friends gathering,
rehearsals, performances, and many many more.. You name it.
Apart from all this.. It's just a little bit of jam.
But is there a car crash accident or something now?
Oh yes, one.
I failed one subject during this common test. It's HORRIBLE.
My heart's sank with disappointment and horror when i saw my result.
I've promised God and myself to do well this term and this semester.
But why let this happen to me?
The day before the test i was in church,
having prayer meeting and rehearsals till about 11pm.
When i reached home i just could not concentrate anymore,
so i headed off to dreamland, thinking that i can wake up at 4am
to rush out some memories of the textbook.
But God knows that i woke up at 6am.
And the test was at 9am.
I thought i could do well. GOSH, I FAILED IT.
My faith in God was a little shakened.
But thank God that He reminds me that His hands had never leave me.
When i was complaining to God,
He spoke to me, showed me what did i do wrong.
Every time the whole purpose behind what he spoke is
"You are different.
I chose you,
put you into trials, is to test your faith in me.
If you love me, then put in your best effort.
However, don't try to fool me.
Because i am your God."
That's when i learnt to fear God.
Fear God.
Why is it "FEAR"?
He is almighty,
The splendid King,
therefore we should fear Him.
Because FEAR enables us to reflect on ouselves,
whether we've done our best to serve Him.
If there is no fear in our life,
then we will never have the urge to reflect,
the anxiety to serve our best,
the desperation to spread His Majestic love.
Therefore,
FEAR-- is a very appropriate word to use
in our attitude towards almighty God.
It's been my fault that i didn't study well during this test.
And yes, 30% is gone now,
but 70% is still waiting for me to capture.
God is an almighty God,
He has created the universe,
and my problem to Him is just such a tiny stone.
All it requires is my magnificent faith in Him.
I believe in God that
I will see a miracle happen during the next term.
In Your promise You've said,
"In faith everything is possible."
So i respond, "i believe, i believe, I BELIEVE".
I WILL DREAM.
AND I SHALL DREAM,
THAT I WILL GLORIFY YOUR NAME IN MY SCHOOL.
MY CLASS,
MY TUTORIAL,
MY PRACTICAL GROUP,
AND THIS ATTCHMENT.
I BELIEVE IN YOU.
JESUS, JESUS, JESUS......
I LOVE YOU.
I WANT TO SOAR WITH YOU AGAIN.
9:10 AM
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
I'M FEELING UNWELL.
10:29 AM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
So full of artless jealousy is guilt,
It spills itself in fearing to be spilt.
-Shakespeare, William.
1:39 PM
FAITH IS A BIG WORD.
Yet "Believe" is only part of the words to describe it.
1:30 PM
MY GRAPHIC-INSPIRATION. _
________________________________________________________________________________
11:01 AM
____________________________________________
You and he would argue
Then sometime tears would drip.
As you’re struggling, I felt the rays of hope
My heart s-s-shattered in the silence
And I would calm down as I look at your smile
I conceal and hide my feelings away from you
Because if you find out, we may be no longer together.
I hold my breath
And bite my lips
Then I hope that she’s by my side, not his.
Baby, please don’t hold his hands
Cuz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting forever, so please look at me.
Once the music starts
You’ll take the eternal pledge with him
I prayed and hoped
that this day would never come
The wedding dress you’re wearing (dress)
(Girl) The wedding dress you’re wearing
(but I’m not the one who’s by your side)
(Wedding dress, dress )
The wedding dress you’re wearing, oh no
I hated you
for not understanding how I felt.
So at one point, I even wished for your misery.
But my tears were already d-d-dried up.
Every night I felt anxious
and now if I think about it, I might have already foreseen this event.
I close my eyes,
And dream an endless dream.
Then I hope that she’s by my side, not his.
Baby, please don’t hold his hands
Cuz you should be my lady
Once the music starts
You’ll take the eternal pledge with him
I prayed and hoped
that this day would never come
The wedding dress you’re wearing (dress)
(Girl) The wedding dress you’re wearing
(but I’m not the one who’s by your side)
(Wedding dress, dress )
The wedding dress you’re wearing, oh no
Be happy with him
So I can move on
Please erase those pitiful memories of me
For a long time
It was hard on me, no oh
I spent too much time fantasizing
And had a lonely life like a fool
She’s still looks at me
and smiles brightly
The wedding dress you’re wearing (dress)
(Girl) The wedding dress you’re wearing
(but I’m not the one who’s by your side)
(Wedding dress, dress )
The wedding dress you’re wearing, oh no
10:51 AM
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
The starting of this term
wasn't GOOD.
I've been put into many many tutorials groups,
so there is no fixed class for me.
Every class that i went in seems like a battle for me, because the tutorial group is fixed for two years and i'm the only new one among them.
Why, Oh God, why me?
Tonnes of times i post God this question.
It's hard to accomodate to the new change,
especially when it comes to class changing i'm always walking alone from one class to another, 'cos everyone's schedule is different from mine.
I always had accompanies for the previous semesters,
so it's hard for me to believe that i had suddenly became a loner.
Couple of times i cried in the toilet cubicle alone,
asking and asking God that why is this happening.
But God lift me up.
I finally know the answer yesterday.
Thing is,
My previous classmate told me that my last tutorial group was messed up now, and bullying has started to take place in there too.
When i heard this, i finally know why God put me into so many different classes, and i really thank God that He has pulled me out of that chaos before it happened.
Just like what the bible says,
following God's way is much easier than any other path.
Though it may seems hard,
but the sweetness at the end will taste better than anything else.
I'll stand strong with you JESUS.
I LOVE YOU LORD.
The song below is introduced by Mindy,
and its lyrics is just similar to my heart's cry.
Sing together if you can. =)
11:42 AM
<$MTEntryBody$>
